So many tunnels, so many endless depths to meander in and explore. One can lose themselves and become intensely wrapped up in thought. I walk a precarious road, trying with all my might not to step into any holes. It’s easy to do; one minute I may look through a window at the passing world and then the next moment I step back into a dark hole of silence.
It comes so abrupt that I never even have the slightest notion of foreshadow. I take a sucker punch in the lungs and keel over in groans. My throat tightens and I release toxins all through my body, dispelling a dark witted laughter. My body becomes numb and limp; I could drift for miles without the slightest idea. It is only my mind that I have gripped, but even it is a roller-coaster ride of perpetuated insanity. I feel as if the safety bar on my seat popped open mid-ride and and I am desperately trying to pull it down and lock it. Sometimes, on the steep incline I fall directly out of my seat and plummet down to the Earth in despair. Only rarely do I have the instinct to catch the bar before it pops open.
Conversations blow and filter in the wind, scattering letters in the sky. I try to unscramble them while looking up at the clouds, but by the time I feel that I have a grasp on it they morph into a new combination of misinterpreted phrasing. Intonation becomes immediately lost in the impending rain and my sensors lose all connection.
I spend days in solitude, cowering from interaction. I feel that I must store all the energy deep within me and hold onto it. It is such a rare feat to accomplish. When I am surrounded, engulfed in the babbling nonsense of society, I quickly short circuit and dissolve into radiation. Others can sense my energy leak, and my failure to reconnect to a power source. I can feel pity, the look in the eyes of the beholder as my face goes blank and I am lost in an endless warp.
I recoil, gather my nuts and bolts and retire for the evening without a words notice. I hibernate and plug back into my solitude. I can feel the sweet relief of silence overcome my mind and calm my senses. This is the light at the tunnel. That moment just after the fall when I look up and attempt to revitalize myself. But when I do recoil, and the silence takes ahold too long, sometimes the light bulb bursts and shatters to the floor, leaving me in a suffocating darkness.